Every fourth day in July we as Americans come together and celebrate some of our most favorite things: Freedom, Blowing Things Up and Food. For some reason the Hot Dog Eating Contest has become synonymous with Independence Day so I figure we all contemplate the serious question of who would win a Hot Dog Eating Contest if the contestants were fictional characters?
Personally I think that is a brilliant idea!
So here goes - which one do you think would win?
Scooby DooThis hound is always ready to slurp down some grub! Make sure to have plenty of Scooby Snacks on hand when this pooch comes to visit!
Multiple ManWhat better man to win than a man who can become multiple men? Bam! A thousand guys eat a thousand dogs. Game over.
Matter Eater LadLet's face it - this dude can
eat. Not only will he consume the franks he will also eat the plates, napkins, table and anything else that gets in chomping range of his piehole.
JugheadDon't let his laid back, causal demeanor fool you. Forsythe Pendleton Jones III is no slouch when it come down to inhaling edibles. Sure, his main nosh might be hamburgers but he will have no problem scarfing down copious amounts of tubular meats.
Homer SimpsonTalk about a heavyweight. Homer J. is no stranger to devouring any food in his general vicinity. Once described by The Sea Captain thusly: "Tis no man...'tis a remorseless eating machine!" Homer will crush his competition.
GalactusNo bones about it, the Devourer of Worlds has an insatiable appetite. For this competition he will be eating planet sized hot dogs made from the substance of Sirius, the Dog Star. Will his compulsion to consume catapult him to victory?
SlimerThis globulous glutton is all in when it come to inhaling Coney Island wieners. Food cart vendors across the five boroughs quake at the thought of this ravenous phantasm wiping out their inventory.
FlashWithout question the Flash (Barry, Wally, Jay, Bart, whoever) is a whiz at whisking down whatever sustenance is at hand and hot dogs are no exception. How many sizzling redhots can the Scarlet Speedster pack in, and will it be enough to win?
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Can you think of anyone else from movies, cartoons or comics that might be able to conquer this contest? If so let us know!
"Don’t flee from yourself. If you have a quality, be proud of it, let it define you, whatever it is." - Pinhead (Hellraiser III)